This is a story of rags to riches, of pauper to prince. To those that knew him before Wednesday night he is known as Henry Loh, but to those that met him after he is only Mr LSE.
It all began as a punishment by his beloved Ultimate Frisbee team for missing Regionals. Regionals are held on the weekend of Valentine’s Day and in true Mr LSE style Henry had gone and booked a weekend in Paris for him and his girlfriend (awwwww!). That’s right ladies, he’s taken.
The Ultimate team felt that the only possible compensation, for such a traversty, would be to compete in Mr LSE. Henry certainly rose to the challenge.
As the motley crew of misfits and mistakes clambered onto the stage it was clear that our man was not without a chance. At the start there were 12 men and after each round two were removed by the delightful judges.
The first round was simple; introduce yourself but include an ‘interesting fact’. No doubt some of the competitors mis-heard because interest was feigning when the buck passed to Henry. Henry is small in stature, a characteristic almost synonymous with being Asian, however his witty riposte was warmly received by the crowd: “My father is actually 6’3.”
The next round called for each person to down a pint as quickly as possible. This caused Henry’s fans some concern as we knew it was not his strongest round, yet a gallant effort saw him placed above the bottom two.
Onto his talent; a traditional Malaysian dance, beautifully executed to the tune of All The Single Ladies by Beyonce. I’ve seen some of the great movers in my time but Henry did more for me than Torvil And Dean ever did.
From here on out Henry looked and sounded like a winner. A tricky request to depict a sexual fantasy using only economic terms was casually brushed off with talk of his supply and his fans demand, much to the delight of the crowd.
A brief intermission to witness a band that will no doubt re-appear in the warm up heats for next year’s X-Factor auditions (they were called ‘Hot Boyz’, need I say more?) and Henry was back on wearing nothing but a carefully selected pair of Calvin Klein boxer shorts. A few ladies were subsequently removed from the Quad to be treated for ‘weak knees’.
The next round was the eagerly anticipated ‘chat-up line’ round. However, not one person could hear what Henry said because they were chanting his name so loudly. Even the football team had sided with the unsuspecting entrant and the name ‘Henry’ reverberated around the room.
At this point only three competitors were left. This was the final. Henry stood next to a ginger footballer and a curly haired rugby player before receiving the command to assume the Plank position. This is essentially a press up position but balancing on your forearms. It tests core strength, especially working on the abdominals. The competition had become a Last Man Standing affair, or rather Last Man Planking.
Henry’s support was evident. Alice Pelton, one of the esteemed judges, began to chant his name. The crowd were willing for Henry to win. They needn’t have had any fear as Henry was as steady as a rock. He didn’t flinch but instead just waited until the competition gradually fell to the ground, defeated.
Henry graciously thanked his competitors, the judges and the overwhelming support from the crowd. It wasn’t only the Ultimate Frisbee team that was cheering, it was everyone. He epitomized a people’s champion.
The celebrations that later commenced at Zoo Bar saw Henry pounced upon like a Hollywood star. The women, and the men, crowded around for a glimpse at the new champion. He is an Economics student, he’s not from England and so some may say he was always ‘Mr LSE’. But they who witnessed those magical events on Wednesday will know, it wasn’t until he grinded like Beyoncé that he became our Mr LSE.
Mr LSE Stats
Name: HENRY LOH
Nationality: Malaysian
Race: Chinese
Weight: 62kgs
Height: 5’7
No. of packs: SIX (under the right lighting)
DOB: May 4, 1989
**Relationship Status: TAKEN**
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