The LSE 1st XI is in the midst of a fortnight that will define their season. Going into week 9 top of both leagues and in the ULU cup final, even the usually ice cool Montague Ismail was showing signs of pressure. Fortunately, team captain Tom ‘Admin’ Jacques was busy making preparations for the challenge ahead…
It began with trials and hopes were high, especially as the team had managed to keep hold of integral players such as Alex “sex addict” Casimo, Sean “Mr Lovalova” Farrar, and Lawrence Fishy-Fingers. Our optimism was well reinforced by the addition of some top notch fresher’s (+ Warrenator), and weird post-grads/general course kids (including a postman and a Princeton academic). The season started well, despite the loss of two very average players to futsal and FIFA, as we went on to win all but two games in the first term. Along with this world beating form, the team began to bond in ways which only Warren could describe. The highlight for the term was definitely the teams tour to coastal shit-hole Portsmouth; quote of the tour- “does my face smell of tit?” summed up the little holiday, but the smelly faced culprit will remain unnamed. On this fateful night seasoned veteran and loving father Rob Low made sure he and his son were tucked up in bed before midnight. Captain Tom “the philosopher” Jacques probably wishes he had joined them after being caught slumped “thinking” in the corner.
Hopes were high entering the second term, with the team’s confidence throbbing as much as Warrenator’s member when thinking of Besty. The term began with two massive ULU cup matches. First came a hard fought victory over league champions Royal Holloway, followed by a dramatic extra-time win over title rivals UCL 1’s. This set up a semi-final derby against the poly on the strand whom we demolished 4-1. The final will take place on the 21st March and we encourage as many WAGS, family, and friends to make the trip to the Bank of England pitches to cheer us on. We are playing an in-form Imperial 1’s side, and we are sure that with a good performance, and your support, victory will be ours.
We backed up our cup success with a league run of 8 successive wins, and despite a mid season slip up against UCL 1’s, the title was in our sights. However, we entered week 9 with the daunting task of winning our last three games to clinch the title.
It was a congested and tiring week to end our ULU season, playing UCL 3’s, Royal Holloway 1’s, and SOAS 1’s in the space of six days. First up, UCL 3’s, a team with a mixed ULU record for this season, and a game where we could not afford to slip up. A nervous 1st team had a pre-match boost when Jessica Moore (Adam Moore’s ‘talented’ younger sister) promised rewards a’plenty for a victory. Disturbingly, Mooresy bagged two goals, whilst Fishy and Casimo got a cheeky little invite to her 18th. In the end LSE recorded a comfortable 4-2 victory, with Sean “I’m sorry, so sorry, sorry” Farrar celebrating his birthday in style with a solid, steamy performance. Next on the agenda was a victory against Royal Holloway 1sts . After a shaky start we began to take control of the game, and our dominance was rewarded when Tom Gay (ha) latched onto a Dicky Robert’s cross with that abnormally large head of his. We maintained this slender lead until the 70th minute when Holloway struck against the run of play. Luckily we reacted quickly and took the lead once more with another trademark goal from our 25 goal-a-season man Tom Gay. The game finished 2-1, despite a late surge by Holloway which proved unsuccessful due to the brilliance of the best goalkeeper the 1st team has ever seen, Niklas “backdoor entry” Stog.
This set us up perfectly for our last league game of the season against title rivals SOAS 1st team. Win the game and win the league, simple. Nerves were on show in the pre-match warm up, and they followed into the start of the game. We didn’t play to our full potential in the first half and went in at the break one goal down with a goal from Strivens’ boyfriend. After an inspiring team-talk by captain Tom Jacques we started the second half positively, but conceded another goal against the run of play. This, coupled with going down to 10 men soon after, left us with an uphill task and we ultimately lost the game 3-0 despite a gutsy second half performance. We walked away feeling like we had let the league slip, however we still find ourselves at the top of the ULU Premier division and still have a good chance of becoming champions depending on other teams results.
Related posts:
- Mid Term Team Updates
- Netball IV team dominate on court
- Frisbee Team are Ultimate champions
- Karate team excels again and again
- Hocky girls left hollow