As the anticipation built up in the Tuns, this year’s Mr LSE competition was markedly different to previous years. Whilst before the run up to the stage performances would have seen power press-ups to the death, this years selection of boys had only a spattering of real men amongst them, and it really did show when it came to the shirtless round.
A round of shit chat introductions saw the initial weaklings, many of whom were FC, shamed off the stage, and as the contestants where whittled down, the record numbers in the audience began to heckle the piss poor chat up lines and cheer on unexpected talents. The night was not without controversy though, as Dodds had an early exit following his memorable line “if I flip this coin, what are the chances of me getting head?” It appeared a man in a skirt had far more luck, as Eton #2 impressed all with his ability to blow a pipe and win a heart or two. Sadly, this was not enough as one FC with a degree in mixology eventually won at the grand finale, much to the dismay of many spectators.
Being crowned Mr LSE appears to have its perks as our man found his lips being Shepparded towards those of a flame headed hockey damsel. The pair was seen locking lips outside, in plain sight of those spilling from the Tuns, with our lady clearly showing her appreciation for the man dubbed as LSE’s finest. Other success was also found amongst runner-up Geoff. Easily the best body on stage in those final rounds (shame his talent didn’t quite match up), the man ducked out early with social netballer Ms L DeBeer, and the pair was not seen again.
One particular R-Cad was seen semi-humping a lady in the middle of Zoo bar, desperately trying to undo her Bra (ssing-ton). It seems our lucky man had more than just sexual intentions on his mind though, as he was seen flashing her debit card the following after noon in the Tuns…I guess the poor soul may have turned to selling his body to tide him over or the rest of uni. Tragic.
Captain Mateer was spotted thrashing about once again, but this time, the lady was defending (what’s left of) her honour and dignity, rather than attempting to desecrate others’. She was literally beating away some pathetic soul in a striped shirt who was relentless in his attempts to pull the lass. Within seven seconds of the final KO of the guy, though, she physically fell onto the lips of one waiting bystander, not that it did anything to dissuade the aforementioned creep.
It seems that KR was more than happy with her BJ (credit: SCG). The fine gentleman of the LSERFC escorted the lady to her door but is reported to have wondered home alone, failing to get between the posts for yet another week. No idea how you’ll get AU Pres with craic like that. Across the dance floor, though, it seems fellow starlet Raquel Oddity was being Sherminated by one of FC’s favourite wannabe BNOCs. The rugrat-Sherman hybrid, commonly known as Ginger Jack, illuminated Zoo Bar and drew heads as he attempted to woo the sensuous young lass. Sadly, his ball didn’t quite reach the back of the net, despite offering to cook her breakfast. Shame…
As per, Zoo Bar was far from love and games. FC appeared to clash with netball this week, and we can officially dispel any rumours that Higs got involved in a brawl with a member of the opposition. The story goes that he “shoved” her mistakenly, with her sidekick being the valiant lady who punched the FC lad. Lets keep rivalries and spats to competitive sports please, no one likes to see a bloodbath in Zoo.
Brace yourself for the de-babooning of many an AU gentleman next Wednesday, as RAG week will see the AU Wax return with full force. After the successful turn out at Mr LSE, there’s no doubt that we’ll have another corker of a week, so I expect to see you all there at 7.30pm in the Tuns. Peace.