fatimamanji is devout and moral

Have you ever noticed atheists are so God-damn arrogant? So here it goes - the standard line. Your average arrogant atheist will patronizingly inform you humans created God to explain what they ‘couldn’t understand.’ Mr Arrogant Atheist with his rational, logical science of course understands all. Poor me - backward babbling believer in God can only clutch desperately on to my prayer beads in a fit of irrationality; bordering on insanity. But here’s the real madness of it all. If we, the people of the world created God; who is only a figment of our imagination - who created us – the people of the world?

Easy - says Arrogant Atheist smiling at his own know-it-all-ness; It’s all about two things. Monkeys and Big Bangs. That is two separate things. Not monkeys banging. (Sorry for lowering the tone, but some of you Part B readers have warped minds.) Back to THE Big Bang. Millions of years ago, there were a big clan of atoms, happily floating and frolicking through space - individually minding their own business in a free and liberalistic way. But the atoms were growing in number…traffic was on the rise and despite Atom Ken’s attempts to introduce a congestion charge - soon enough there was a problem – and a big one at that. BANG. Atom hits Atom. And so the world began, the planet and all its creatures began to evolve. Now its not that I have a problem with the Big Bang theory in itself – but the idea that the entire universe and its amazing wonders, could just have emerged from sporadic randomness is pretty ludicrous. For something to work well, it needs a Boss, an intelligent force who will guide it in the right direction. Now The Beaver has Super Sid Kamath, Britain has Brilliant Blair (or Brown) and all those poor little atoms trying to turn into riveting rivers, pretty plants and terrific trees?  Well they sure couldn’t manage it all by themselves. They had God. A supernatural force who designed the whole universe. So - Arrogant Atheist - there might well have been a Big Bang - but it sure had a Big Boss to oversee it.

And what about the monkeys? Apparently beautiful me, not-so-beautiful Mr. Atheist and all our wonderful cousins in humanity all descended from apes. Fair point - I can see where this one came from - some ‘human beings’ - LSE-newcomer Peter Sutherland for instance does bear an uncanny resemblance to a gorilla. But honestly - creatures like Jude Law, George Clooney and Will Smith? Their looks can only be a work of God…or in the case of some Hollywood actors - the brains that God gave the plastic surgeons.

Okay says Mr Arrogant Atheist. So God created the world through intelligent design. But who created God? And anyway if God does exist – why can’t we see him? This is the point, where Arrogant Atheist gives you a smirky, slimy smile and looks down geekily at their Richard Dawkins book, thinking they have won the argument. Touche say you. But that’s why it’s called belief. Seeing is not always a necessary component for believing. We can’t see oxygen or gravity but we know its there. We can’t see Jade Goody’s brain. But we know its there…hmm - or maybe not.

But in any case, belief is a good thing. It provides you with morals. With a meaning to life. It’s a statistically proven fact that believers in religion are less likely to turn to drink, drugs or suicide. A nicer society for all of us. And most importantly, belief gives you hope in times of sadness and need. Although according to one Arrogant Atheist – the same comforts can be derived from food and drink. Great - apparently next time you’re stuck in a tsunami, all you need is a pint of Guinness to be saved?!

So we can’t see God. Maybe God does exist – after all. But belief isn’t necessarily a good thing is it? All that shebang about killing infidels and all says Arrogant Atheist. Evil Ozzy Bin Laden and his henchmen murdering hundreds of innocent people, the whole Christian hating on Christian in Northern Ireland and (dare I mention the words) Israel and Palestine. And before all this of course, the Crusades. Arrogant Atheist will tell you: Religion is all about killing people. Religion is bad. Aha, Brilliant Believer - this is where you serve your ace card…it’s like an Eye for an Eye. The next time arrogant atheist starts listing ‘religious’ ruthless murderers - all you have to do is sing a song in a piercing voice. Each verse is the name of an evil God-less dictators and then the word ‘Aaaaaaaaaaaatheist’ will be the chorus. If you do this, not only will Arrogant Atheist be baffled by the fact its not just religious zealots that can be crazy killers, he or she will also be forced to surrender - if only to stop you singing. So here goes, repeat after me: Hitler - Horrible, Hateful, Holocaust man? Aaaaaaaaaaatheist. Stalin - Silly, Socialist, Sadist? Aaaaaaaaaaatheist. And so on.  And you might just find yourself in Guantanamo. God Bless.

lauraparfitt is devoid of morals

Take me, your typical non-believer. One day, I am rudely awoken by one of my Mother’s pointless daily phone calls about the bug that is permanently going around or an in-depth account of her trip to Hilary’s, who lives down the lane. I crawl out of bed, grunt down the phone and am met with “afternoon?”, some sarcastic comments about my foregoing evening and other implications of my innate idleness. This angers me, and she hears my wrath. After delicately replacing the receiver, I might mutter a profanity or two under my breath.

I’m famished, I need sustenance and since it’s the weekend; I plump for a bacon sarnie and a large coffee (caffeinated). I’m that hungry, I could have another sarnie. And I do. I vegetate on the sofa for a while, pretend to do some work, smoke, gossip, bitch, snooze and eat more.

It’s soon the evening again and my flatmates and I begin to get ready for our imminent night out. One comes out wearing new shoes. They are beautiful, I love them and they’re my size. Dare I say I want them for myself? We leave the flat. I’m showing my thighs, my face, a modest cleavage and God help me; I’m even showing my ankles. I have a bit to drink and lose my inhibitions. Fuck it, I have a lot to drink. Later, I observe one flatmate stumble into the Ladies’ and orally ejaculate the contents of her stomach. I quietly revel in her “misfortune” and contemplate my own ability to hold alcohol. I conclude I have a stomach of steel, I am the Lady of Liquor, the Booze Baroness, the Plonk Princess. It may be the drink talking, but I’m proud. Damn proud.

I buy another drink at the bar and the barman gives me too much change. I say nothing. I glance across the room, and through the mist I see a beautiful pair of flashing eyes. In my merry malaise, indecent thoughts enter my mind, the type usually reserved only for certain members of Girls Aloud. I recall a visit to Canal Street in the summer when I… and I’m not married.

We get home, I pass out. And all this on the Sabbath day. The next day I pop to the dry cleaners to pick up my asbestos suit in preparation for my impending and unequivocal decent into the underworld. Am I worried? Hell no.

I am not worried because I do not believe in hell, heaven, God, Allah or Krishna. The only belly I stroke is my dog’s. So what do I base my doubts on? Well basically, lack of substantial evidence. Take the Bible, for example, a supposedly eye-witness account of the miracle of Jesus. Yet change the word “Jesus” for “Xenu” and the word “disciples” for “renegades” and what do you get? Scientology.

Any sound-of-mind person today, having never had experienced any sort of holy teachings would pick up a religious text and conclude it was the work of a fantasist and destined for the science fiction bin at Waterstones. Yet because religion is universally accepted as rational and quasi-logical, people allow themselves to cling to hopes and “values” that in many cases are fundamentally wrong and hypocritical. All this so that they can justify their own prejudices and actions, and achieve peace of mind. Religion is always seeking answers to questions we mere mortals simply cannot answer; why can we not accept that there just isn’t an answer?

Stephen D. Unwin, a risk management consultant in Ohio, concluded: "The probability that God exists is 67%." He calculated this using Bayesian Statistical theory, and being a statistician myself, I feel obliged to take heed. Unwin does however later admit  "This number has a subjective element since it reflects my assessment of the evidence." Michael Shermer, publisher of Skeptic and author of The Science of Good and Evil reveals: “…based on my own theory of the evolutionary origins of morality and the sociocultural foundation of religious beliefs and faith…I estimate the probability that God exists is 2 percent.” I’m with Shermer.

Our brains simply cannot handle the idea of there being no beginning or end to the universe, nothingness after death or the absence of a higher being. So to cope with their own inner turmoil, a bunch of failing tabloid hacks wrote a collection of scriptures and staged elaborate performances to a needy crowd of ‘shroomed-up primitives, guaranteed to spread the word to even more gullible plonkers. Somehow, the word of “God” has renounced though the land for centuries following and I can only assume my EC102 teachings have come into play here: Where there’s the demand, there’s a supply. There’s a supply of literature and preachings on how evil society is, inciting hate toward anyone who is gay, who is of another faith, who drinks, who takes drugs, who has had sex and even anyone who has any desire for anything, material or otherwise. A visit to yourgoingtohell.com will show you how ridiculous some radicals sound. And don’t get me started on Holy wars.

Now don’t get me wrong, I can appreciate there are a few good things to come out of religion. I accept that some religions do essentially have good intentions and teach some handy life values, and often give people the hope they desperately need. I just don’t see why we should institutionalise our beliefs and set rules and restrictions that don’t make logical sense.

Anyway, enough of the serious stuff. If you believe, then good for you, because I simply can’t. But if I want to live my life freely, succumbing to temptation then leave me be. I’m a sinner, but I’m having a ball.